I realized that I am elderly.

I went to a concert this week that was crawling with the youths.

I thought I was the youths until I saw things that completely baffled me, including but not limited to:

  • Making shadow puppets on the ceiling.
  • Googling the lyrics of the song the band is playing.
  • Snapchatting the stage throughout the entire concert (Sorry—literally nobody is watching your sh*tty video.)
  • Communicating with the other side of the venue using a phone flashlight.

And if you do not know the words to Goo Goo Dolls’ “Iris” or “Hey Jude” by The Beatles, then I stand firm on this opinion that you should not be there. On a school night!

BRB, gotta blast and Amazon Prime myself a walker, offer Werther’s candy to everyone I have a conversation with, and wear my glasses exclusively at the end of my nose. In the meantime, let’s get to it.

OK, DANG HBO, I SEE YOU.

DRAG HIM!!!! HBO tweeted the best response to President Donald Trump’s very awful photo of him with Game of Thrones font saying, “Sanctions are coming.” Honestly, one of our editors showed that photo to me this morning and I said, “It’s awful that I feel like even though that’s a meme, that he would tweet that.” That’s when I learned he actually tweeted this. Ugh.


Bachelor royalty breaks up.

Another withered rose. RIP Kaitlyn Bristowe and Shawn Booth, my favorite Bachelor couple. After getting engaged on The Bachelorette three years ago, the couple split and will still remain friends.


Shade 👏 kween 👏.

Can you hear me screaming from here??? Ariana Grande responded to this Saturday Night promo above, in which Pete Davidson asks the musical guest of the week whether she’d like to marry him. Maggie Rogers says no, and then he says, “Oh for three.” Yikes. ICYMI, Grande and Davidson broke up after a summer fling, and it’s been pretty tense. (there was an engagement ring, tattoos, and everything). Grande took to Twitter in what appears to be a subtweet to Davidson and wrote, “for somebody who claims to hate relevancy u sure love clinging to it huh,” in addition to some other deleted tweets. OMG.


These doggos will shine on a Netflix docu-series.

Netflix‘s new docu-series will focus on six stories of these very good boys and girls. Please don’t ask me how I’m doing, because I’m fine. I’m definitely not crying at this trailer. Guys, seriously, I’m OK, you don’t even have to ask me. I’m fine.


No likes for you.

Twitter responded to a report that they will remove the “like” tool on its platform with a tweet that tried to deny it, but basically confirms they will do it at some point. According to Mac Rumors, “The removal of the like button is said to be aimed at improving the quality of debate on Twitter, preventing people from showing favoritism in a tweet thread by liking the comments they agree with.” JFC, this is the equivalent of everyone getting a participation trophy. 🙄


Bring on the Toy Story 4 tears!

OK, in case you didn’t realize, I’m definitely ugly crying from the Dogs trailer, and this news isn’t helping with how emotionally broken I am. According to Tom Hanks, who voices Woody in the beloved Toy Story movies, said Toy Story 4 will be a “moment in history.” He also said, “The way you record Toy Story, you’re in a room with the team that has created it. When I went in for my last day of recording, I wanted to have my back to them, because usually, you’re facing him so he can look right up and you can talk about it.” Oh no. This is not good because a Tim Allen (Buzz Lightyear) echoed a similar sentiment a couple of months ago, where he said he had trouble getting through the final scene. The movie will debut in theaters on June 21, 2019.


FEENY! FEEHEE-HEEHEENAY!

Mr. Feeny will never not save the day. William Daniels, the actor who played Mr. George Feeny in Boy Meets World, foiled a burglary attempt on his Los Angeles home. Daniels scared off the intruder, who ran off when he turned the lights. Like Will Friedle says, don’t mess with the best!


These Avengers 4 rumors are killing me.

In light of some recent Marvel casting news, this this one Avengers 4 fan theory suggests some really realistic situations. “We already have fan theories that say Pepper was pregnant when Tony flew off to Titan to face Thanos, and Gwyneth Paltrow already confirmed that Tony and Pepper will have a baby. But if Langford does indeed play Tony’s daughter, then Tony might have to make an incredibly difficult choice between saving the current timeline, where his daughter is born, or undoing everything Thanos did and risk not having his daughter in the first place.” This makes a lot of sense, given Doctor Strange’s shift in attitude towards Tony in Avengers: Infinity War. Oy.


Past Sabrina reacts to present Sabrina.

Since we can’t get enough nostalgia, Netflix released a video of the original cast of Sabrina the Teenage Witch reacting to some scenes from the new Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. The video is adorable and all you need to know is this quote from Caroline Rhea (Hilda Spellman): “I like her, though. She’s very political, little Sabrina. She’s quite empowered.” Slaaaaay.


Kanye West is DONE with politics.

My response is this video:


Until next time, my beautiful trash babies!