Guys. I’ve been duped.

One day you think a four-day week is going to be rainbows and kittens, and the next it hits you hard. Ya gurl is exhausted. I’m still pretending I’m sitting on a beach sipping a margarita, salty that this four-day week was just a mirage. So naturally, the only thing getting me through this week is was listening to the High School Musical 2: Non-Stop Dance Party

Click that link. You know you want to. I wouldn’t be suggesting it if wasn’t one of the most 🔥 albums of the 2000s. #Trust.

Remember: Before Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again swept us me off our my feet, we had High School Musical. And suddenly, in the middle of me bopping to Troy Bolton’s “Bet On It” remix, news dropped about the High School Musical TV show—and yes, this is different than High School Musical 4. Meant to be more than the fateful night when Troy and Gabriella bumped into each other during karaoke during New Year’s.

The new TV series will be part of Disney Play, Disney’s upcoming streaming service. The 10-episode show will be filmed in a docu-series style and follow East High Students as they prepare for the winter musical—drumroll please—High School Musical. THIS IS SO META. Side bar: As I nodded my head and thought to myself, “Wow, this will be a really interesting take on it all,” I realized that I’m suddenly I’m in fifth grade again.

This means that in each episode, we’re going to get a new take on an original song from High School Musical, along with a new one. Dope. The upcoming series has a really deep and creative name, called High School Musical: The Musical. ~*~ominous~*~

To help you get through your Friday, you should listen to that album. While we jam to the remix of “I Don’t Dance,” (I knooow you can), catch up on some trash news this week. Stay a while! Let’s get to it.

NOICE.

HAPPY FRIDAY! NBC just confirmed that Brooklyn Nine-Nine is expanding its original 13-episode order to 18. We still don’t have a premiere date, but I’m so excited that I can’t even harp on that right now. COOL. COOL. COOL. COOL. COOL.


Photo: People

As funny as a Kelly Clarkson song is strong.

YOS HENNY. Queer Eye‘s grooming and hair expert and general ethereal public figure we don’t deserve, Jonathan Van Ness, will go on a stand-up comedy tour throughout the U.S. The 10-night tour kicked off this week in Brooklyn. “I’m naturally kind of hammy,” he told People. “It’ll be fast-paced and full of story-telling.” Since these will probably be sold out, Hotels.com is producing a docu-style web series (Inspired by HSM, probs.) about the tour, which will go live on the travel website’s YouTube channel in November. JVN forever!


From getting roses to giving them out.

ABC named Colton Underwood as the new Bachelor. I’m not spending any more time talking about this, except that somehow this gave him the power for Twitter to change his handle from the awful @Cold3FIVE to just @colton. That’s all I wanted to say about this. We’re moving on to the next item faster than he moved on from Tia. Bye.


Mamma Mia! IRL.

*screams into the void* Why do I not live in London?! ABBA’s Björn Ulvaeus is gracing the world with a Mamma Mia! interactive experience, complete with good food, music, and celebration. The restaurant will feature ABBA songs performed by actors and musicians all around you, while you sip and eat on Mediterranean-style drinks and food. What more could you want? (For Josh Dylan to come find me in NYC, but that was a rhetorical question.)

BREAKING: Cher is going on a Here We Go Again tour for her new ABBA cover album, coming out on Sept. 28. Tickets will go on sale Sept. 14. Good luck!


Ready, set, binge.

The universe is calling! Doctor Who‘s eleventh season finally has a premiere date—read more about that here. Before we get to see Jodie Whittaker absolutely slay as the new Time Lady, fans can catch up on the all of the modern-era episodes in BBC America’s The 13 Days of Doctor Who marathon. The network will air every episode from the 10 seasons of the rebooted show starting on Sept. 25.


Photo: Insider

Peter Dinklage drops a GoT bombshell.

Wuuut. OK, so we all know that Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen got it on during the end of season seven, but remember when Tyrion Lannister was creepily standing outside their room, looking pissed as hell? You might have shrugged it off, but Dinklage’s explanation of the expression makes a lot of sense now. “It’s complicated,” Dinklage told Entertainment Weekly. “A lot of the time with Tyrion, it’s professional and personal. Obviously, he has feelings for Daenerys. He loves her—or thinks he does.”


Far out.

AMC released a new The Walking Dead Season 9 trailer. While it didn’t give any new information, we already know a lot about the upcoming season. The premiere on Oct. 7 will also run approximately half hour longer than the average hour-long episode, according to The Wrap. But, can we talk about this trailer for a second? What is happening here? Did I accidentally take shrooms before I came into work this morning?


Auf Wiedersehen!

Bravo is going to have to make it work. Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn, hosts of Project Runway for the past 16 seasons, will not return. Bravo bought the rights to the show back from The Weinstein Co. when… well, you remember what happened. Instead, the dynamic duo is going to leave the series for a new fashion reality show on Amazon.


Everyone, leave Geoffrey Owens alone!

You might recognize Geoffrey Owens from his role as Elvin Tibideaux on The Cosby Show, which stopped airing in 1992. Some asshole snapped a photo of the actor at Trader Joe’s and a lot of people job shamed him for working at the grocery store to make money in between acting jobs. There is so much wrong about this! He got so much hate that Owens quit his job, but now some familiar faces are going to help him out. Tyler Perry offered him a role on a new show on OWN, and Nicki Minaj will donate $25,000 to support the actor.


This Twitter feud.

I can’t stop laughing at this Paddington Bear comeback at Ryan Reynolds when he tweeted everyone thanking fans for People’s Choice Awards nods for Deadpool 2. 


Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Probably the most important feature of the new Marvel’s Spider-Man is that players can say hello to pedestrians on the street. I’m going to do this in New York City. I’m going to make a lot of new friends!


Until next time, my beautiful trash babies!