It’s been a tumultuous year in the U.S., as socioeconomic issues and an increasingly contentious political environment have sparked chaos in the streets from coast to coast.
A new layer of madness emerged on Saturday night in New York City, as a concert held at The Gramercy Theater was a recruiting rally for Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.
Cold Slither headlined the concert, timed with New York Comic Con (NYCC) for maximum recruiting opportunities. This marked the band’s second appearance this year, nearly 40 years after its namesake single first captivated audiences and rocketed up the Hard Rock charts in December 1985.
The Pop Insider infiltrated the scene and discovered the presence of Destro, a notorious Scottish arms dealer and principal in M.A.R.S. Industries, a company believed to be a key supplier of contraband to Cobra.
Amid increased political tensions in the U.S.-China trade war sparked by new threats from President Donald J. Trump during NYCC that could see tariffs of up to 130% on toys, collectibles, and other essentials, a challenger in the 2028 Presidential election emerged at the concert: Cobra Commander himself.
Fronted by Zartan, a globally renowned master of disguise, and featuring members of his Dreadnoks band of mercenaries, Ripper, Buzzer, and Torch, Cold Slither performed a blistering “greatest hits” set, including “Thunder Machine,” “Snakes on the Bayou,” and “These Fluffies are Fatal,” alongside their eponymous ‘85 hit.
Cobra messaging displayed on a giant screen behind the band placed audience members under a mind control spell that took hold during the rally, leading to fist-pumping chants of “Long Live Cobra!”
Some rumblings indicate members of the G.I. Joe team were the audience. At the same time, the Baroness, a known affiliate of Cobra Commander with rumored romantic links to Destro, was lurking backstage.
While the crowd dispersed quickly and without incident, a motley crew of recruits and known associates joined the band post-show near a merch booth stocked with products from Cobra affiliates, including Hasbro, Super7, and Reigning Phoenix Music.
No concrete information is available on what plans lie ahead. Still, with mind control active in a new crop of Cobra loyalists under the Dreadnok’s spell, it’s only a matter of time before stealth agents activate in New York, San Diego, and wherever Cold Slither plays next.
Industry rumors point to a Cobrachella festival next year with Cold Slither joined by the Knights of Unicron, Jem and the Holograms, and The Misfits. Other names circulating for the desert gathering include Jesse and the Rippers, Citizen Dick, 2Gether, Dethklok, HUNTR/X, Drive Shaft, The Lone Rangers, Dujour, Wyld Stallyns, The Electric Mayhem, Rex Manning, and the reunited Max Rebo Band.
G.I. JOE CLASSIFIED SERIES NO. 163 DREADNOKS COLD SLITHER: BAND OF VIPERS TOUR COMMEMORATIVE ACTION FIGURE SET
The band is getting back together. This G.I. Joe action figure set comes with all four founding members of Cold Slither, each with their signature instrument.
